Projection
When our parents die, the sense of security they once were able to convey to us – if indeed they succeeded in doing this – also goes from us. We shall return to this theme in the chapter ‘Parents And Children’. For now let us have a look at what happens each time one of our parents dies. For simplicity’s sake we are considering this mostly in connection with only one of them, our mother. Obviously, something similar happens when our father departs from this plane of life.
Our parent’s energies and our own are similar and their character traces are also a part of our own character make-up. Up to the time of their passing into the world of light, we may not yet have lived and owned up to some of them, because through their physical presence in our life they were externalised and we projected them onto her. Yet, their energies were and still are similar to ours, otherwise we could not have come through them into our present lifetime.
To stay with our mother, for as long as she remained with us on our present level of life, in some mysterious way we lived through her, but her passing means that this is no longer possible. We are not a piece of her, we never were. We are an independent individual spirit and soul in our own right. We appeared through her because she had agreed – once upon a time in the world of spirit – that the Universe should create a new body through her, which could be used as a vehicle for another lifetime in physicality by our spirit and soul.
In spite of the fact that our energies are of a similar nature and will always remain so, for us the time has come to accept and integrate the archetypal mother within ourselves. In this process of integration we are required to accept every one of our earthly mother’s characteristics as our own. As they are also ours, whether we look at them as being good, bad or indifferent, this can be a more than somewhat daunting task. But through owning up to them it is possible to become a fuller, richer and more whole person in our own right. We are all mirrors of each other. Therefore, the things we recognise in others – including our mother – are in us, too. This is not because we inherited them from her or some other ancestor, but because we ourselves developed them, as likely as not in the course of a great many lifetimes.
Mother’s passing presents us with the task of taking possession of as many of the gifts our life has been trying to present us with through her all along; at last the time is here to make them fully our own. Nobody has any problems with integrating and owning the good qualities she possessed. Yet, it is another matter entirely when it comes to dealing with her less desirable and endearing ones. No matter how objectionable they are, it is important to own up to them. Be aware though that it may be difficult to recognise within ourselves the characteristics we perceived in her as disagreeable.
The world around us is our mirror that constantly reflects back to us what we have within. Distasteful traits in other people we can only recognise because they are also inside us. If we can see them, no matter how successfully we try to cover them up, they are sure to be there. This psychological process is known as projection. If our energies and characteristics had not been so similar, it would not have been possible for us to have been created through her, and to come into this lifetime as her child.
Inside us we also carry the nastier character traces we observed in her and from which we may have suffered intensely. They are tucked away in our subconscious, waiting to be released. As the dynamics of human relationships are of an extremely complex nature, they deserve a closer examination. We all have everything within; nobody is all good or all bad, and everybody is a diverse mixture of all manner of things. When some people in our lives consistently cause us problems of one kind or another which, no matter how hard we try will not go away, it is worth our while to look inside and see whether there is something there that is asking for our attention. We are magnetic beings who can only draw into their orbit that which we ourselves are, and the environment we find ourselves in is always designed to act like a mirror that can be used to help us recognise our unconscious inner self.
We can only recognise in others what we ourselves are. Alas, rather than living our less pleasant characteristics out, we project them onto others instead. The world around us is always a reflection not only of their good as well as their distasteful behaviour patterns, but also our own. Nobody has any problems when it comes to taking possession of the good qualities that are on display in this way. Yet, it is another matter entirely when we have to deal with the less desirable and endearing ones. No matter how objectionable some of them may be, in the process of becoming more whole it is vital that we should also own up to them. Although our psyche tries to hide them from our conscious awareness, they are there, of that we can be sure. The very fact that we can recognise them in others proves that they are in us as well, because otherwise we would be unable to see them.
If our energies and characteristics were not so similar to those who irritate and annoy us – including those of our nearest and dearest – we would never have drawn a relationship with them into our lives; we would not have needed it. But, the way things have been thus far in our evolutionary plan of life, we most certainly do. For as long as we suffer intensely from the nastier character traces we observe in others, we are receiving signals from the Universe that the same is tucked away inside us, in our own subconscious, waiting to be released.
Recommended Reading:
• ‘Family Energies’
• ‘Our Afflictions Are Not Ancestral Curses’
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The above is part of ‘Comfort For The Bereaved’.
If you would like some more support, please follow the link below:
‘Comfort For The Bereaved’
