Mars And Venus In Relationships
In connection with relationships the aspects which the planets Mars and Venus are forming with each other in our birthcharts are of particular significance. When they are in what is known as a hard aspect, like a conjunction, square, semi-square or opposition, special lessons are waiting for us during our present lifetime. All the struggles that are encountered in our relationships are outer manifestations of the conflicting different aspects of our inner nature. It is not enough that our masculine and feminine side are struggling to come to terms with each other, our higher love nature and the drives and urges of our lower animal self are also battling against each other. Until we manage to bring these parts into harmony with each other, their quarrelling will continue and try to tear us apart.
To draw towards us all the experience we need for the balancing act this requires, the Universe provides us with much sex appeal and personal magnetism. And to get us started with working on this as early as possible in life, we reach sexual maturity earlier than others. This aspect can be an extremely difficult one to handle in our younger days because we may get involved in adventures, which we later regret. The wise intention behind this is that, because of our learning experiences earlier on, with increasing life experience such situations should be handled by us with much more ease. For those who are willing to learn, this surely is the case.
The snag is that for as long as human souls are still largely motivated by the animal instincts of their lower earthly nature, sex rather than love is likely to be the most dominant note in their lives. During that evolutionary phase, sex is frequently mistaken for love. Power struggles ensue that may wind up in the most destructive expressions of Mars, like over-possessiveness, jealousy, resentment and vengefulness. But, the necessity for taking take charge of our lower animal nature, its drives, desires and instincts eventually dawns on every soul and our journey through life eases off. With increasing spiritual maturity our higher love nature, whose symbol is Venus, takes over and with its help the lower parts of our nature are slowly conquered.
The Fire sign Aries is the sign of the self and ‘I’. It is ruled by Mars, the planet of desire and passion. Mars was the God of war of forebears. The Air sign Libra is the sign of ‘we’ and relationships. It is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, peace, beauty and harmony. To the ancients Venus was the Goddess of love, peace and all the beautiful things Mother Earth has to offer. The planet endows our soul with its gifts, most important of all the tact and diplomacy that is required to help us create harmonious relationships that are based on co-operation, Venus, instead of competitiveness, Mars. Aries and Libra are in polar opposition with each other in the zodiac. Undiluted highly energetic Aries loves fighting, arguing and quarrelling more than anything, whereas above all things Libra one wants peace and harmony. Clearly, the two are struggling to come to terms with each other.
Why should this be necessary? Well, to help us find and maintain our place in this world, the basic human nature of unevolved souls is almost neat Mars energy, what is known in psychology as the ‘id’. This part of us knows nothing but: ‘I want it and I want it now! If you have got something I want, I just take it from you and see whether anyone can stop me! I go after what I want and if it means walking over dead bodies!’ Ever more disastrous wars are the result in human relationships on a personal, national and international level of thwarted Mars energies. Look around you and you will be able to observe that a great many unevolved souls are still living among us.
Human nature consist of three parts, psychology calls them the id or the infra-rational, the ego or rational and the superego or the supra-rational. The ego, the small earthly self, contains the id. The ego is still very selfish but it has been endowed by the Universe with a reasoning and logical thinking mind that enables us to learn from our own experiences about the consequences of our actions. The Super-ego is our higher nature; it knows at all times intuitively what is good and right and without hesitation goes and does it.
Without sufficient influence of the Venusian energies, as well as a lack of awareness that in truth nothing on the Earth plane belongs to any of us, our desire nature, Mars, at the slightest provocation and obstruction on the way of getting what it wants, reacts with the potentially highly destructive emotions of anger, jealousy and resentment. Greed and covetousness for what is considered to be other people’s belongings, including whole countries, are part of this challenging part of our world of feelings.
The energies of Mars and Venus can function on their own in us and our world, but for as long as this is the case both lack wholeness and remain unbalanced. Every soul in its own right must work on uniting and balancing them. And each must find out through their own experiences that that no matter what life may bring and what is destroyed through the wrong use of Mars energy, love is the strongest force in the whole of Creation. It can heal and mend anything that has been broken, especially human relationships. Once we have learnt to persevere and our efforts are determined enough, love will always rule in the end.
Gaining control over our emotions and passions through taking charge of our lower animal self is of the utmost importance for all of us. This is a particularly urgent issue when Mars and Venus form one of the above named hard aspects in our chart. Whether we ourselves behave cruelly and ruthlessly towards others, or we attract people into our orbit who treat us in this way, both are external expressions of the same learning process that is required by those involved. People with these aspects, especially in their younger days, at times can be sexually so strongly attracted to someone that they mistake their feelings of desire for being in love. Getting married far too early and for all the wrong reasons ensures that sufficient opportunities are created for learning their main lesson for this lifetime.
People with these aspects, because of their difficulties in relationships, may suffer from nagging feelings of being oppressed, suppressed and misunderstood. To overcome all of this and to free themselves from drawing further unpleasant experiences into their lives, most of all they need to recognise and accept that the roots of all their problems lie within them and not in other people.
The greatest school of love, in my view, is life itself and learning to love the way God loves us, totally, unconditionally and wisely, is the most essential part of every soul’s earthly education. Yet, this can only be done through taking charge of the instincts of our lower earthly nature. The first step towards resolving any problem, including this one, is through acceptance that the cause for all our difficulties invariably lies within us. As our understanding of the true purpose and meaning of this life increases, feelings like jealousy and resentment are gradually shed, until they have gone from us once and for all.
Marrying unwisely and maybe also far too early in life may bring suffering to souls with these aspects. If this is true for you, accept it for what it is, namely a karmic condition. If you are at the receiving end of cruelty in relationships in your present lifetime, it is highly likely that in previous ones you inflicted it on others. Take heart, this will only continue until you have resolved your inner Mars/Venus conflict. Come to terms with the fact that your past experiences were not some kind of punishment that was meted out to you by an unkind fate, but opportunities for learning to appreciate how it feels to be treated cruelly. By learning to love from the heart, unconditionally, in a detached and unemotional way, not only others but also ourselves, all our human problems can and are indeed meant to be overcome.
Recommended Reading:
• ‘Sun in Aries’
• ‘The Sun in Libra’
* * *
The above is a chapter from ‘Astrology As A Lifehelp In Relationship Healing’.
If it has whetted your appetite to read more, please follow the link below:
‘Astrology As A Lifehelp In Relationship Healing’
