Lost And Found
Life itself has always been my teacher and the insights into any of the topics covered in my writings, which I have been sharing with you on an ongoing basis for a long time, never came to me as a result of book reading. They are intuitive knowledge that constantly grows from the experiences of my own life. My personal journey of a thousand miles, of healing and finding out who and what I really am, has been an exceedingly long and painful one. Having reached a ripe old age at the time of updating this chapter in December 2014, it does not feel as if my voyage of discovery were drawing to its close. And I am glad to say that I feel younger at heart now than ever before, probably because I am more in touch with my immortal and ageless spirit and soul.
In the course of many years, I have worked my way through mountains of emotional/spiritual debris that must have accumulated in my soul memories. During each lifetime they are stored in the very cells of our physical bodies, because our water body, the soul, is part of our outer shell, the physical body. That must be the reason why I frequently get a feeling that my soul is shedding layer upon layer of traumatic memories that reach ever deeper into past lifetimes. This process can be likened to the peeling of an onion and represents the emptying out that has been known to the mystics of all ages.
Now that the Age of Aquarius is well and truly with us, for all God’s children of the Earth this procedure is an essential part of the ever more rapidly progressing individual and collective rebirth of our race onto a higher level of consciousness and being. It is a mystical experience which each one of us in one of their lifetimes finally has to wade through. Pisces is a Water sign and its age served the development of our individual souls and that of our world. Aquarius is an Air sign and its age will see the development of human mental faculties to their highest potential. Eventually, this will enable all human souls to take us and our world forwards unto ever higher levels of understanding of God’s sacred wisdom and truth.
My emptying out started many years ago and especially in the beginning was a very frightening experience indeed, as I had no idea of what was happening to me – neither had anyone else. Blessed with the gift of hindsight, it is not hard to see that this was because in previous lifetimes I closed off spiritually so much that in this one no-one ever even introduced me to praying. My birthchart confirms this. However, it is never too late for a new beginning and that’s what happened to me. One fine day, or rather night, the Lord’s Prayer came to the rescue. As it is such an important part of Western life, even I knew it by heart and that in English and German. As I have always been fond of poetry, I loved the prayer for the sheer beauty of its words.
And then one dark night, I was feeling too frightened and lonely to get to sleep. My most damaging shadows of the past must have been those of my traumatic early childhood describe at the beginning of this part of my jottings. Unable to shake them off and therefore too scared of the present and future, I could find no peace. Tossing and turning was the way I spent most nights in those days and had done as far back as I could remember. But in the end these hours of darkness turned into different ones, because suddenly the thought entered my mind: ‘Why don’t I pray?’ Never having done so before in this lifetime, I slowly started to say the Lord’s Prayer in my mind, first in one language, then in the other.
Over and over again I did this and after a while, I could feel myself calming down and eventually I drifted off to sleep. Having at least one evening prayer to say was a wonderful discovery, although even that did not always have the desired effect. Yet, it was a start. My Father/Mother did hear my prayers and recognised them as a cry for help. After a while, my Guardian Angel led me to people and things that could help me forwards – one small step at a time.
Looking back from where I am now, it is not hard to see that my prayers succeeded in awakening my Christ Self from its slumbers. It began to stir and tried very hard to get in touch with me, its earthly counterpart who, maybe in the course of many lifetimes, had become almost completely closed off from it. My whole life has been a quest for finding my very own Christ child in the manger that is my own heart. My personal road to Bethlehem, which all of us have to walk in the end, has been a hard and painful one. At the same time it is also joyous and enjoyable because it has been and still is immensely enriching and worthwhile, for I now know exactly where I have come from and where I am going to.
Having been lost once in the loneliness of Earth life, this time round I will do my very best to stay on the spiritual pathway, no matter how difficult and thorny, painful and frightening it may turn out to be at times, and how many more rocks and boulders I have to climb over on the road, I shall rest safely in the knowledge that truly, truly I am going home.
Recommended Reading:
• ‘The Three Wise Men’
• ‘We Three Kings Of Orient Are’
This article is a chapter from ‘War And Peace Between Nations.
If it has whetted your appetite to read more, please follow the link below:
‘War And Peace Between Nations’