Re-Assessing All Relationships
Many by now have reached the evolutionary point for reassessing all their relationships and for leading those that are worthy of staying in our lives in better and more holistic ways than has ever been possible before. Just look around you and see how fraught human relationships all too frequently seem to be these days, on an individual level as well as world wide. Life is difficult because many of our old institutions are breaking up and disintegrating.
It seems that one of them is marriage. To my mind, this is largely due to and connected with everyone’s need for integrating and coming to terms with the fact that we all contain everything, the Highest and the lowest qualities, as well as feminine and masculine energy. This awareness that on the inner level of life each one of us already is whole and consists of both woman and man, does away with the need for seeking others to make us whole. Women are ever more integrating and becoming one with their inner man; and the same is happening for men and their inner woman.
We are all in this life to find healing for our crippled and wounded inner child, so that it may rise from its wheelchair, metaphorically speaking. We are that child and to find healing and peace for our adult self, we first have to attend to our child part, so that it can learn to smile and laugh and trust again. Before we can walk and run into the wide open and waiting arms of our Divine parents, Father/Mother, without any fears and inhibitions, our child first has to practise crawling and toddling. To achieve this, our most urgent requirement is a complete change of inner attitudes towards ourselves.
During the journey back home into our true nature, the small wounded child within must have its say, at least from time to time. Whenever its wishes surface, they are doing so for good reason. They are asking to be looked at and healed, through our own love and compassion for the suffering we experienced when we were small, helpless and at the mercy of those around us. For me, the best way of finding healing has been through a better general understanding of myself, my life and life in general. That is what to me the healing journey of this whole lifetime has been all along and still is.
That is why when my inner child’s feelings rise to the surface during meditations, I no longer suppress them but allow them to rise to the surface of my consciousness. For as long as it is necessary, I do a bit of wallowing in self-pity, if you want to call it that, though that is not what it truly is. To me, it as a necessary part of the healing process that helps our tears to come. And tears are the Universe’s, by that I mean God and the Angels’, way of comforting us and bringing us healing.
I believe that suppressing such feelings is wrong. They too are very real and the only reason why they are surfacing now is that they were not properly expressed at the time, never mind anyone being around to comfort us. This healing process can be exceedingly painful, but my own life has taught me that it works and how. If that’s what it does for, it is sure to do the same for you. So, why not have a go yourself? As long one does not carry this attitude of wallowing in self-pity forward into one’s daily life, the way it is now, there is nothing wrong with a spoonful of this kind of bitter medicine. Taken with discrimination and in small doses, at the right moment and in the right place, whilst communicating with the Universe, it can be highly beneficial.
That helps us to face all our other human relationships with more strength. Why is it that they are so fraught and difficult? To me, one of the main reasons is that for as long as we insist on looking for fulfilment in another human being, no relationships is likely to work out satisfactorily in the long run. To overcome any of our problems, as always, we first have to look towards ourselves and wake up to the reality of who we are and why we are here. This also applies to our relationship problems. There is no point in searching in those around us for what they have not got, because they are not meant to have it. As likely as not, they themselves are still hoping to find it – probably in us.
Knowing that inner manifestation always comes before outer, wise ones however look for whatever they want from life within and develop it there. They are aware that the kind of security we all are seeking is the one that only our Highest Self can give us and that it can only be found within. It cannot be provided by other people, because it is not meant to; they too are here for the same reason. As one starts looking in the right place, relationships begin to run more smoothly. One no longer enters into them with false and expectations that cannot be fulfilled, because they are not meant to.
Why are women and men naturally dependent upon each other? On the physical level, for as long as physical bodies are required for incoming souls to enter into and take part in earthly life, this will continue. On the inner level, however, this has never been true. We shall return to this theme in another chapter. Now that we have entered a new age, big evolutionary changes are taking place and they are stressful and take a great deal of adjusting to. The way I see it, we do need human beings around us and with us on our pathway. Indeed we do, because it is through our human relationships that we grow and develop. This situation will ease as ever more of us return into the conscious awareness of their own true nature again. We then realise that each one of us is whole within themselves and that in truth we do not need other people to make us whole. And that stops us from looking for fulfilment in others and for being made whole by someone else’s presence.
In previous lifetimes, women and men lived their earthly existence vicariously, through each other. All she knew then was that she was woman, no more and no less – and did the same. The men in a woman’s life acted out her masculine part for her and reflected her own masculine energies back to her. By now, many are becoming increasingly aware that wholeness could never be found in others, but only within, because it represents every soul’s own inner connection with its Highest or God Self. Other people were never meant to replace the missing part of ourselves, which we have been seeking ever since we left behind the conscious awareness of our oneness with God and all life. This happened for wise evolutionary purposes and is the reason why no matter how close our relationship with anyone ever was or will be, the other one can never become fully one with us – no more than anyone else can, on the inner level of life. The only way of being one with any other being is on that level, where we and all life always have remained one, in any case.
Recommended Reading:
• ‘Healing The Wounded Inner Child’
* * *
The above is a chapter from ‘Astrology As A Lifehelp In Relationship Healing’.
If it has whetted your appetite to read more, please follow the link below:
‘Astrology As A Lifehelp In Relationship Healing’
